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An Inconvenient Hollywood Trend?

May
30
2006

Although it’s $365,000 opening weekend take seems paltry compared to, say, X-Men 3, Al Gore’s new movie, “An Inconvenient Truth” showed some box-office mojo by bringing in six figures on each of the three screens on which it played.
The inconvenient truth for most Americans is that those 30,000 Americans who paid to see Al Gore lecture them for nearly two hours may spark a new genre of political films. Where aspiring Presidents once had to publish their memoirs, they’ll now go to Hollywood and make a movie.
To save the execs at the Hollywood studios the time and energy, I’ve come up with the list of the ten most-likely treatments they’ll have coming across their desks in this new genre…
10. Congressman James Sensenbrenner remakes “The Mexican”. The Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee chases after a legendary gun with a magic bullet to fix illegal immigration.
9. Ted and Patrick Kennedy’s Traffic School. This duo scares the life into people who would even think about drinking and driving! Other family members remake this 1997 classic.
8. Twins 2, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Steve “Arnold Light” Westly coming to California on June 6th…maybe.
7. Sen. Ted Steven’s Bridge over the River Nowhere. As long as it is in Alaska, the Chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee will pay for it.
6. Belt Tightening with Mike Huckabee. The Arkansas Governor talks about he lived the new American Dream—losing 200 pounds—and how the lessons of austerity helped him balance Arkansas’ budget for eight years in a row.
5. John McCain’s Special Interest Witch Project. Because the low-budget film can’t take contributions greater than $2000, the campaign-finance reforming Senator films it entirely on a camcorder in the woods of Maryland.
4. Hillary Does Healthcare. The Former First Lady who brought you the HMO discusses why everything wrong about Healthcare today isn’t really her fault.
3. Rick Santorum in Three Men and a Puppy. The Pennsylvania Senator once predicted that legalizing consensual sodomy between adults would lead to polygamy and sex with puppies…maybe only Hollywood can make his dreams come true.
2. Cynthia McKinney’s Greatest Hits. Watch as the Georgia Congresswoman assaults Law Enforcement officers from around the nation!
1. Gray Davis “is back” in Total Recall!

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