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Kosher Babies

Dec
13
2006

So you Mr. and Ms. Young Jewish Cool Dude Hipsters or whatever it is you call yourselves these days – your mother’s and father’s Judaism just isn’t good enough for you, is that right?

It’s a little too suburban, a little too B’nai B’rith, a little too Loehmann’s and Florida and mahjong on Tuesdays for you, is that it? Well who do you think paid to send you to Brown and Europe and who helps with the rent in New York, so you can get these fancy-schmancy ideas?

So now you’ve got another website, this just-launched Jewcy place, with a magazine and ways to get together on these Internet places. That tight little t-shirt with “Jewcy” on the chest wasn’t enough? Not that anyone asked for my opinion, oh no, I’m just the mother, I don’t count around here. But no, I don’t think you should have worn it – now you can read all about the sex too. And be a little rude about your mother. Which is uncalled for, if you ask me, not that anyone did, and being funny is no excuse. Although there’s a nice Jewish boy who does feel badly about it.

But there you go again with that cool stuff. Already there was that other magazine, Heeb (I click here, I get all sorts of mishegas!). And then there’s another recent website, with salons, this Guilt & Pleasure place (again with the sexy stuff!), that’s supposed to be for younger Jews who like to talk. You know who you are I guess.

OK, so Hadassah Magazine’s not good enough for you. Fine, fine. Who am I to argue, I’m just your mother who gave birth to you?

Just don’t think you’re putting a new one over on me and your father, missy and mister. Because this all comes down to the same thing, the same reason we sent you to that Jewish summer camp and to Israel: Jewish grandchildren.

Very clever all this hipster stuff, but if your mother didn’t go to Brown, she did go to Pembroke you know, (because they didn’t let women in in my day, and if you think that wasn’t tough, that’s another story). So I know, you still see Joey or Jennifer as their 13-year-old selves with braces and bad hair looking embarrassed at their bar mitzvahs, you don’t look so kindly on them as mating partners when you’re older. And maybe you think even being Jewish just isn’t so cool.

So the other mothers and I got together. You think we don’t talk? So we thought, these kids – if they see each other as cool and sexy and hip, or just that being Jewish doesn’t automatically make you a Woody Allan-type nebbish – maybe we’ll finally get to hear ourselves called “Bubbie” before it’s too late, God forbid. Because you know, with this Jewish intermarriage, and these fewer babies people are having, and this indifference to religion, the Buddists, the who knows what, there aren’t as many Jewish grandchildren as we’d like. (Maybe.) So a nudge here and a little kibitzing there, before you know it you kids are writing and reading your sexy hipster stuff.

You rebels, you. Just don’t forget to call your Aunt Miriam. Thank her for the gift and ask about her hip. And take your vitamins!

Share  Posted by Deborah Klosky at 9:20 AM | Permalink

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