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Boxes and Boxes and More Boxes, Oh My

Dec
29
2005

Oh how I love packing for a move. Love, love, love it. I love it so much I might switch careers and start running a moving company. Except my technique might be slightly different from other moving companies. I’d recommend to anyone moving that they take everything they own, put it in the center of their driveway, sprinkle gasoline on and light a match. All done. I wonder how much I could charge for that service?
Yeh, I am a little cranky. There’s nothing like really looking at everything you own, picking it up, wrapping it carefully and putting it in a box to be carried gently across the world, to make you realize it all belongs in the trash. And that’s true whether it’s junk or a treasure.
Although the nice thing about a trans-Atlantic move (to Spain, for those of you following along at home), is that it converts junk to treasures. By the time we’ve paid for the luxury liner our boxes are apparently traveling on – and I’m assuming they’ll want the first dinner seating so they can be up in time for the early morning yoga class – everything we own will have taken on an added value. My kids will be driving the only $7,000 Big Wheels around. That cruddy t-shirt I exercise in when I’m hoping no one will see me – it’ll be worth $3,300. And those little plastic pieces from the Transformer toy that we’re holding on to in the hopes that one day we’ll figure out where they go: $550 – each.
Yup, moving makes you rethink the whole idea of stuff. We’re just coming off a pair of mass stuff-accumulation holidays too, when people who love each other go out and actually spend their money to inflict upon each other things like kitty-shaped clocks with light-up eyes that will sit on a shelf for years and accumulate dust in between traveling around in boxes a few times before they (the clocks) finally go to that great yard sale in the sky after having lived a thoroughly useless life.
Sure it’s good for the economy. Sure it’s good for the self-storage unit industry, the closet insets building industry, the plastic organizer shelves and organizer boxes industry(ies?), but are we really supposed to sacrifice our sanity by becoming oppressed by stuff, just for the good of the economy? OK, I know the answer from Washington. But maybe the paring-down industry would do as well. Those are even newer businesses than the booming self-storage biz. There are magazines you can buy about simplifying your life, and of course you’ll need a simple holder for the magazines to keep up the uncluttered look. And then you can pay people to come in and help you de-clutter (a more trendy word than “unclutter”) your house or your life. And once you’ve de-cluttered you’ll need some simple accessories to mark the empty space. And so on, and before you know it your Toy Cave is overflowing again and it’s time for another call to Clutter Busters.
Children are of course clutter magnets. A piece of crumpled paper with a corner ripped off is not trash, but rather part of the elaborate protective shield created against Darth Vader, and must be saved. My kids, and I assume yours, also like to redistribute the household clutter. Packing for the move, we’ve found things like the potato masher in the closet with the wrapping paper. If that seems like a reasonable place to you to keep a potato masher, then I really must decline your kind dinner invitation.
Another problem with moving is that we’re trying to clear out the kitchen cabinets, so we’re down to all the food that seemed like a good idea when I was grocery shopping with low blood sugar (a big no-no). Sardines with instant mushroom risotto, anyone?
Maybe I will take you up on your dinner invitation, after all. Mashed paper, add a little salt and butter, stick a bow on, how bad can it be?

Share  Posted by Deborah Klosky at 11:26 AM | Permalink

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