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Does This Make Me Look…Human?

Apr
26
2006

Dear God, won’t someone help this woman?
Every now and then I like to check into the subject of “high fashion” to see just how gullible the industry thinks women are. It’s always good for a laugh and it warms my heart to know that somewhere out there are people dressing in funnier outfits than my 17-year-old son.
And so we have the lady with the avian road kill on her head.
Perhaps she stumbled onto the runway by mistake, having thought she was presenting her performance art piece “Portraits of Hitchcock Movies” at her best friend’s uncle’s partner’s gallery.
Vogue beauty editor Sarah Brown, though, is convinced it’s genuine fashion:

The best beauty accessory for fall may be a hat—but not just any hat. Philip Treacy’s butterfly-inspired, couture feather confections at McQueen were breathtakingly pretty.

I believe a similar look could be achieved by sticking dead birds in your hair then beating yourself over the head with a baseball bat.
In other fashion news, I was happy to see that my 1964 communion dress has made a comeback. Silly me – I never thought to put those black ribboned cuffs on my wrists and those . . . those . . . what the hell are those things on her feet?
And then there is this. There I was, flipping through frame after frame of rather boring white shirt dresses, and all of a sudden it just popped up.
It looks like they caught the model attempting to sneak onto the runway in something approaching a normal outfit – black pants and white shirt – and panicked.
“Quick! Slap on a silly hat and black 1940s girdle around her shoulders! There. Much better.”
Who I watch are the people in the audience at these fashion shows. You know what they’re wearing? Black. You don’t see them festooning their heads with wildlife, do you? Nope. They dress “like a person,” as my neighbor in Jersey used to say. Though they’re very quick to advise you to paint the town in nothing but glittery tulle and a push-up bra.
They’re wearing comfy black loafers, but they want you to parade around in this.
Ow.

Share  Posted by Jeanne Jackson at 10:02 AM | Permalink

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